Longing For the Past

I'm not really one to look back with regrets. I prefer to live in the moment, but lately I have really been longing for some of the things that are in my past. For example, there are times that I miss what it was like for Eric and I before we had our kids. That isn't to say at all that I wish we didn't have them, of course, but if you are a mother, I predict that you know what I mean. There's that old adage that says, "You never know what you'll miss until its gone." That's how I feel about "dating" Eric. When we were dating and first married, we'd go out and do things all the time and we loved it, but then I started longing for children. It didn't take long to realize that we were missing what we used to have.

I also really miss my friends. I've shared that before in other posts, but it's so true and lately I'm just sort of longing for the friendships that I had before. All these people are still friends, but the relationship changes, as naturally it would, when we move away from each other.

Before I moved I was having lunch with my best friend Angie at least once a week. She is someone that I've shared life with for so long that missing her actually hurts a little bit. At the same time though, I never fear that our friendship will dissolve or be tainted by distance or time.

Lately, I've begun sharing life (through e-mail) with an old friend who I miss dearly. Kristen is a friend that was divinely appointed by God. We wound up as pot luck roommates our freshman year of Bible College. For both of us it was our first time away from our homes. We had crazy things in common like we showed up on move in day with the exact same bedspread (Winnie the Pooh). She and I formed a bond that was so instantaneous and such a blessing. Being that I have a rebelious streak in me, we parted as roommates after the first semester so that I could pretend to be someone that I wasn't. But God's provision for our friendship reigned victorious as it always does and to this day we are stronger in our friendship than ever.

What I love about Kristen, among other things, is that she really gets me. She understands my life at a personal level probably better than anyone else. Here's why... she too has 3 kids. They are very similar in age to mine and we share the same daily struggles and joys as a result. What a blessing. I'm certain that her days must take on a slightly different dynamic as she has all boys, but over all, I knwo that I can share something with her and before my story is over she already knows the outcome. How awesome!

What I wish was that there was some way for us to share life together in person. Would you believe that we've never even met each other's kids? I have met her oldest, Daniel, but only briefly. If there was such thing as arranged marriages and I approved of such a thing, I'd make sure that my girls ended up with her boys! Hahaha!